Mchango wa Harusi: How to Have a Wedding

Yesterday I had the opportunity to attend an Mchango wa Harusi, a wedding fundraiser exclusively for mamas and dadas (all the women celebrating with the bride-to-be). So...here's how the pre-wedding festivities commence.

1. Get Engaged
Though I've yet to receive the full story, Tanzanian engagements seem to be just like American engagements. For many women though, the transition to marriage is also a transition from their parents home to a new home with their husband, rather than an independent bachelorette pad. When I tell my Tanzanians that I had my own apartment, separate from my parents, many were shocked. In Tanzanian culture, you can live in your parents household even into your thirties - with no accusation of being a "late bloomer".

2. Wedding Fundraiser
Tanzania is all about community. The celebration of one is the celebration of all. And so is the financial burden. For the one we visited, our future bride invited more than fifty women for a delightful dinner and participation in this fundraiser. My mama, pictured here, served as the MC for the night, welcoming everyone, leading the ceremonies and announcing donations. The smiling woman to her left is the bride-to-be.

Note the matching fabrics of the dresses. The fabric here is called a kitenge. The women with the green pattern match the wedding colors, with the other three women being the bride, the bride's mother and the MC. The bride chooses the pattern, then the women are responsible for taking the material to a tailor and having it made any way they please.

The women then take turns giving their blessings and words of wisdom to the guest of honor. Of course their dialogue is more complicated than my elementary Swahili skills can handle, but you don't need to understand the language the feel the love in the room. The experience is absolutely heartwarming.

Following dinner, each guest stands, states their name and gives either a set of cash or a pledge to pay, monetary gifts ranging from 50,000 shillings to 500,000 shillings. I found it so interesting that each gift was given so publicly and so willingly. As my mama explained to me, with each woman doing this for her own wedding, you ultimately give and receive the same amount of money. 

At the end of the day, the bride has received several millions of shillings (over $7000). But wait. There's more.

3. Sendoff and Kitchen Parties

The best comparison would be a classy bachelor/bachelorette party. All women and men are invited to this celebration, and each guest brings a gift. Relationships to the bride and groom predict the type of gift you might bring. Gifts may include kangas (the traditional skirt), wooden spoons, dish sets, televisions, furniture, cars and even homes. As one woman explained to me, following the wedding, you walk into your new home completely prepared for your arrival. 

Maybe I'll marry a Tanzanian after all. 

Field trip to a Maasai Village (Kijiji cha waMaasai)

So yesterday's adventures included a field trip to a Maasai village. Many people are familiar with the Maasai tribe, actually, when you think "Africa", you are likely imagining a Maasai village. Something like....this:

This is the leader of the Maasai tribe we visited. Yes, most of the children in the background are his. 

Residents of this home include two wives and  ten children.

Cows (Ng'ombe) are used as currency here, for dowries or land or whatever. Though there's very little concept of credit in the area, sometimes cows are "promised" in the future, rather than given as currency all at once.

However, the traditional Maasai communities are actually very different than the lifestyles of most Tanzanians. There are over 120 tribes in Tanzania, but most people only know the Maasai. Reasons they’re intriguing? Men have maybe 2 or 10 or 18 wives and so many children it’s hard to know their age. Cows are used as currency. Homes are built with sticks and mud and literally wash away each time it rains. Traditionally, the Maasai were pastoralists, meaning they were nomadic for their cows.

We had such a National Geographic moment, sitting on little stools surrounded by twenty children and the leader (kiongozi) of the tribe, listening to the elders speak in a combination of Kimaasai and Kiswahili with a translator by our side. In Swahili, we asked them questions about their history, their culture and the lives they live now. After asking them what they ate, they brought out a large gourd and tin cups. As we sat in a circle they opened the gourd and poured (more like slopped) out this liquid porridge with little lumps, Loshouro (sp? Does anyone even know how to spell this?). It was essentially a combination of milk straight from the trusty cows, corn, bananas, and some weird spices. The taste was something between cottage cheese and vomit with a hint of strawberry yogurt. Moral of the story, field trips are better when you bring your own sack lunch.

Following that, they let us tour the village, see their source of water at a nearby spring and continued to answer the questions. The children were so excited to see wazungu (white people) and they even wanted us to teach them English.

The kind, patient leader of this tribe so willingly shared his culture. He has two wives, two cows and too many children to count. See the kids in the picture below? Sounds like at least eight or ten were his. And the home pictured, suits two wives and ten children. Due to their culture of pastoralists, the homes are built with branches, mud and cow poop, sturdy enough to house the whole family but biodegradable like no other, washing away with heavy rains.

 However, the traditional Maasai communities are actually very different than the lifestyles of most Tanzanians. There are over 120 tribes in Tanzania, but most people only know the Maasai. Reasons they’re intriguing? Men have maybe 2 or 10 or 18 wives and so many children it’s hard to know their age. Cows are used as currency. Homes are built with sticks and mud and literally wash away each time it rains. Traditionally, the Maasai were pastoralists, meaning they were nomadic for their cows.

We had such a National Geographic moment, sitting on little stools surrounded by twenty children and the leader (kiongozi) of the tribe, listening to the elders speak in a combination of Kimaasai and Kiswahili with a translator by our side. In Swahili, we asked them questions about their history, their culture and the lives they live now. After asking them what they ate, they brought out a large gourd and tin cups. As we sat in a circle they opened the gourd and poured (more like slopped) out this liquid porridge with little lumps, Loshouro (sp? Does anyone even know how to spell this?). It was essentially a combination of milk straight from the trusty cows, corn, bananas, and some weird spices. The taste was something between cottage cheese and vomit with a hint of strawberry yogurt. Moral of the story, field trips are better when you bring your own sack lunch.

Following that, they let us tour the village, see their source of water at a nearby spring and continued to answer the questions. The children were so excited to see wazungu (white people) and they even wanted us to teach them English.

The kind, patient leader of this tribe so willingly shared his culture. He has two wives, two cows and too many children to count. See the kids in the picture below? Sounds like at least eight or ten were his. And the home pictured, suits two wives and ten children. Due to their culture of pastoralists, the homes are built with branches, mud and cow poop, sturdy enough to house the whole family but biodegradable like no other, washing away with heavy rains.

Watoto Wazuri: Just a few of the beauts that have stolen my heart

Dionne and Faith

Darrell

Esther

Faith and Bradley

So...children, children everywhere. If you want to learn a language surround yourself with little ones that speak it. They're so patient, so sweet and you actually don't need to speak any Swahili to understand what they're doing.

Language (Lugha)
Fun fact, Tanzanians know three languages: English, Swahili and their mother tongue. Many schools are taught solely in English so younger students surpass on bilingual expectations. Swahili is mostly used in the villages, cities and home. Their third language is the language of their tribe, whether Masaii, Mchaga or another. Tanzanians love and respect their history and one way to preserve their culture is to preserve the language. For me, I'm still trying to get down my English.

We Were Wrong About Everything

....except for disconnection from society.


So here we are. It's been more than a week since I crash-landed in the BEAUTIFUL Arusha, Tanzania. I can promise you one thing, this place does wonders for your soul. At this point, I think it's absolutely imperative to know that we had no idea what Tanzania was like. Because yes, everything is new, and yes, I am overwhelmed, I guess I'll just tackle the issues as they come.

Family (Familia)

I have always had the understanding that family can mean more than blood. However, the people of Arusha have taken that to a new level. If you have children, you introduce yourself as Mama "first name" or Mama "name of your first born". So for instance, my mother would be Mama Carol or Mama Andrew. Everyone, please start calling her that. My new mother is Mama Esther or Mama Derrick. I have three brothers: Derrick (16), Dionne (12) and baby Darrell (pronounced Dah-Rail). Aside from the technical number of children that live there, there are about a million others constantly circulating through the house. The others sleep there, eat there, or sometimes just come to play. To paint a picture, I wandered into our living room yesterday and came across Mama Esther holding a 3 year-old girl. I asked her what the girl's name was and she replied, "I don't know, this is the first time I've seen her." So that's African babysitting for you.

Food (Chakula)
These people literally never stop eating. No matter how many times you say "Asante sana, lakini nimeshiba, nimeshiba", they never believe you. ( Thank you, but I am full). I think we had seven full meals yesterday. And Mama Esther told me, "when you leave for America, you will be fat. That's how they'll know you're African."

Home (Nyumba Yangu)
Before leaving for Africa, I was informed by my study abroad program that I would be living in a home with no electricity and no running water. Somehow, in the middle of all of this, I ended up in what must be one of the most affluent homes in Arusha. I have hot showers every day, electricity with only a few power outages and clean, bottled water available always. Of course, this is not the case everywhere. Many people don't drink water because "water is money". The larger you are, the more obvious of your upper status. There are many young ones out on the streets, but it's hard to tell which ones are homeless and which ones are just playing. I realize I'm living in a very fortunate situation, but here in Arusha, the poverty is so evident it's hard to comprehend.

I'll post pictures soon so you all have some idea of my Tanzanian life because, let's be real, it's too much to put into words.

Hujambo!

Friends, families, strangers who somehow stumbled upon this blog. Karibu to my new communication lines for the next three months. Hope you enjoy exploring and learning alongside me in my new Arusha home. Brace yourself for stories of beauty, adventure and African sunsets like you've never known. Kwaheri America, hujambo Tanzania!